i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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