You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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