can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
