whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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