was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
