Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
