I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
