We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Randomize
