ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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