They should really pass out barf bags in church
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
