It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize