Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
