I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize