Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My vagina is very pro this idea
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