Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
