I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
