end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
MIDGETS
????
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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