I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
