The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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