We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
being pregnant is like rehab
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize