i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
