You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was born a porn star she said
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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