There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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