It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
