we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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