I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
wow bdsm is so cute
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
