god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
