Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
