Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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