haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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