Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
