Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
