he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
