Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize