craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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