i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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