dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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