Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
