4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
