You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
