I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
