that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
