I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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