see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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