u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
