do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize