well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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