I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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