So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Randomize
