im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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