we're blogging at a bar
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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