Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
