We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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