Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
