sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Found your dick twin last night
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
