I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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