Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
