Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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