Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize