the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
