so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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