if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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