I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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