Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
