no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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