I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My cat gives me a boner
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
