it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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