are you still at the devil's house?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
