Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
