ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
