he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
