I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
