The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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