I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
