In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
