I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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