This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i dont even know how to be here
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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