What did we do last night that was yellow?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
