pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
