dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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