1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
