i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
