Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
