drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
