That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
