I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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