Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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