Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
