You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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